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Using a Gratitude Journal as a Personal Motivator
to Save Money and Enjoy Life
Posted: 17 Feb 2009 06:00 AM PST
A few weeks ago, a nice reader named Nicole introduced me to the concept of a gratitude journal:
Have you ever written about a gratitude journal? It’s something I’ve started doing and it’s really helped me figure out what is important in my life. It’s easy. Each day you just write down the five things you’re thankful for. I do it before bed or sometimes I’ll jot down things during the day.
I decided to give it a try for a few weeks to see how it went for me. Each day, I simply made a list of the five things I’m thankful for that day. Here’s an example from last Sunday:
1. My daughter’s ornery one-eye-closed grin with chocolate ice cream all over her face.
2. Watching the Daytona 500 with my dad, even though I don’t like NASCAR. We don’t spend much time together and I like it when we do.
3. My son running into the living room, giving me a hug, and running out again giggling.
4. Overhearing my mom telling my dad that she loved him.
5. Reading about 70 pages in a really good book while my kids napped.
I have a collection of about twenty five of these entries now, and many of them read like the above. They usually involve my family, enjoying some quiet time alone, a writing success, or a period of feeling really good (like an after-exercise rush).More importantly, though, virtually none of the items I’ve listed in nearly a month revolve around spending money. The high points of my day usually don’t revolve around any sort of financial exchange at all.
What about the days when I do spend money on something unnecessary? When I reflect back on those events at the end of the day, I rarely think about the spending event. Instead, I’ll often think of some little piece of that event, one that could have been cut out and placed in a less expensive context.
Take my memory that I noted above about my daughter with ice cream on her face. That moment was the result of a visit to Cold Stone Creamery, where we spent quite a bit on ice cream for the six of us (my parents, my wife, my two kids, and myself). Yet, we could have quite easily gone home and eaten much less expensive ice cream and had virtually the same memory. If we wanted some “luxury” ice cream, I could have just made a batch in the ice cream maker during the afternoon, making a stunning batch for just a few nickels on the dollar.
What about that good book? Sure, I could have spent a lot on that book that I was enjoying, but the truth is that the book was essentially free via PaperBackSwap.
What about that entertainment center that my father and I watched the Daytona 500 on? We watched it on our rather old television - no expensive high definition flat panel is needed here. Having a flat panel wouldn’t have changed that moment a bit.
The value here isn’t the stuff, it’s the moment. A moment alone. A moment with my daughter. A moment with my son. A moment with my parents. A moment with my dad.
These moments are the spice of my life, and it doesn’t matter whether I have the latest gadget or if I live in a dump. Either way, I would still enjoy these moments.
So what should I spend my money on? For me, the motivation to spend money revolves around the ability to build a moat around those moments. What can I do with my dollars so that my daughter always has the lightheartedness to bust out one of her big smiles? What can I do with my time that makes my parents’ retirement a little bit easier (calling them and communicating a lot goes a long way there)? What can I do to preserve the health of my marriage over the long haul (and, trust me, buying trinkets might be nice, but it’s no substitute for communication and relationship building)?
In the end, my idea of sound personal finance is about protecting those moments that I’m grateful for. What moments are you thankful for?
Posted: 22 Feb 2009 06:00 AM PST
Yesterday morning, my son and I were in the bathroom cleaning. I noticed that we were almost out of toilet paper. My son went to retrieve some (he may only be three years old, but he knows how to change the toilet paper roll! I’m so proud.) and while he was getting the paper, I quickly used the toilet, using the remaining toilet paper - about nine squares of it or so.
When my son came back, he saw that the toilet paper roll was now empty and he actually admonished me about it. “You used all of that toilet paper, Dad? I only use one piece.”
We washed our hands (since we were done in the bathroom) and joked about how much paper I had used, but after a bit, I began to think more carefully about his comment. Did I really need to use that much toilet paper?
So I tried a little experiment for the day. Whenever I went to use something of varying quantity - salt, toothpaste, pepper, salsa - I strove to try to figure out the minimum amount that I could use and still get full enjoyment and utility out of the situation.
Take pepper, for starters. I will put a large dose of pepper almost reflexively on anything I eat that isn’t sweet. The pepper grinder is a mainstay on our kitchen table.
Instead of simply grinding away over the soup we had for lunch, though, I tasted it first, added just two grinds of pepper, stirred, tried it again, and found that I liked the taste. Ordinarily, I would have just ground twelve or fourteen times without thinking about it.
What about toothpaste? I usually put a big glob on the brush without thinking about it too much. Instead, I put just a tiny bit on my brush, spread it over the bristles, and started brushing. Almost immediately, I had a nice bit of foam in my mouth and my teeth felt wonderfully clean afterwards.
By the end of the day, I was carrying this idea forward into all sorts of avenues. Instead of getting four or five small squares off of the homemade pizza to start with, why not just get one square, see how I feel after it, then get another one if I still feel hungry? Instead of grabbing two or three Kleenexes to blow my nose, why not just grab one and use it until I absolutely can’t use it any more, then get another if I need it?
What I’ve found is this: you’d be shocked how much less you can use during a day without sacrificing any quality. There are so many disposable and consumable things that we use in our lives, even if we’re careful about it. Taking the time to “reset” our expectations on how much we have to use can pay great dividends - not only are we directly saving money by consuming less (and thus not having to replace these consumables as often), we’re also changing our expectations.
You don’t need more than you need, after all.
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